How to Stop Just Surviving and Start Living Intentionally: A Guide to Taking Control of Your Life
Many mornings, I woke up feeling utterly overwhelmed, exhausted, and hopeless.
My life was good on the surface—I had a loving family, a comfortable home, and a full calendar. But beneath it all, I felt like I had no real control over my days. I juggled housework, school drop-offs, sports practices, volunteering, and meal planning. On rare occasions, I squeezed in some writing. Somehow, I managed to get it all done—albeit with a few mishaps—but I never felt like I was truly excelling at anything.
Somewhere in the chaos of suburban life, my deepest values, beliefs, and dreams had gotten lost. I wasn't thriving; I was merely surviving.
And then there were the creative ideas—the ones I never pursued. I felt stretched too thin, disconnected from real community, and desperate to do something well.
A Defining Moment
I started asking myself:
Where do I want my family to be five years from now?
What do I want us to be known for?
How are we going to get there?
I wanted more than survival—I wanted a life of meaning and purpose beyond just conquering a to-do list.
Can you relate?
What Is Intentional Living?
For me, intentional living is about deciding what you want your life to look like, defining what truly matters, and actively pursuing it.
According to Wikipedia:
"Intentional living is any lifestyle based on an individual or group's conscious attempts to live according to their values and beliefs. These can include lifestyles based on religious or ethical values, as well as coaching, personal transformation, and leadership training."
But let's be clear—intentional living will NOT:
❌ Give you a perfect life
❌ Make you look like you have it all together
❌ Put you in the spotlight
❌ Provide all the answers
For a long time, I believed living with purpose, controlling my time, and pursuing my dreams was impossible. But I was wrong.
How I Shifted from Overwhelmed to Intentional
Here are the steps I took to regain control and create a life aligned with my values:
1. Decide to change.
How you've done things in the past does not have to dictate your future. Every day is an opportunity to make a different choice. But change requires courage—you may need to break old habits and step into discomfort.
💡 Truth: You will not change what you are willing to tolerate.
2. Identify what you want to change.
What areas of your life feel unfulfilling? What do you wish were different?
For me, I realized I was spread too thin. I wanted to stop being a "Jack of all trades" and instead focus on one thing deeply enough to do it well.
3. Define your non-negotiables.
Someone once asked me, "What are the five things that must happen every day for you to feel good?" Answering this was hard at first, but it gave me clarity. Over time, my non-negotiables have evolved, but they remain a guiding force in my daily decisions.
4. Clarify your values.
What truly matters to you and your family? Your values shape how you live, work, and interact with others. While many values are worthwhile, yours should reflect what is most important to you.
5. Examine how you spend your time.
Do you have enough time for what truly matters? Take a realistic look at your schedule. Track your time in blocks and assign specific activities to those blocks.
You might realize:
✅ You've been expecting too much from yourself.
✅ You're wasting time on things that don't align with your values.
✅ You have more control over your schedule than you think.
This step takes refinement, but it's life-changing.
6. Connect with like-minded people.
One of the best things I did was surround myself with others who were also striving to live intentionally. Whether it was a friend, an online community, or a mentor, having support and encouragement made all the difference.
You don't have to do this alone. A life coach, accountability partner, or even just a trusted friend can help you stay focused and motivated.
The Results of Living Intentionally
My life is far from perfect. But today, I make more thoughtful decisions for my family and myself. I no longer feel like life is just happening to me—I have clarity and purpose in how I use my time. And the best part? I see the fruits of living with intention:
✅ A more peaceful, connected home environment
✅ Progress toward personal and professional goals
✅ A deep sense of fulfillment
Are you ready to shift from surviving to thriving?
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