How to Identify Your Values and Improve Your Life
Naming your non-negotiables is a powerful first step toward living an intentional and fulfilling life.
In a previous post, I mentioned:
"It takes practice to make your non-negotiables a part of your every day, but it is worth the effort—especially when they are rooted in your values."
At first, you might assume you need to identify your core values before defining your non-negotiables, but I believe the opposite is true. Your non-negotiables naturally reflect your values. It’s often easier to recognize what fulfills you at the end of the day or what leaves you unsettled when ignored.
Why Identifying Your Core Values Matters
Your values are the foundation of how you live and work. They shape your decisions, priorities, and relationships. When your actions align with your values, you experience a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and inner peace. However, when there’s a disconnect, you may feel frustrated, unfulfilled, or uncertain about your direction.
You might wonder:
“If my values are already influencing my life, why should I bother identifying them?”
The answer is clarity and intentionality. When you clearly define your values, you can:
Make confident decisions without second-guessing yourself
Set meaningful goals that align with your true priorities
Strengthen your personal and professional relationships
Create a sense of stability, even in challenging times
A Simple Process to Identify Your Core Values
If identifying your core values feels overwhelming, don’t worry—you’re not alone. When my coach first asked to list mine, I put off the exercise, fearing I’d get it "wrong." But once I pushed through, the results affirmed what I already knew deep down.
Here’s a simple process to help you uncover your core values:
1. Reflect on What Brings You Fulfillment
Think about moments when you’ve felt the most satisfied and fulfilled.
Identify common themes in both your personal and professional life.
Ask yourself: What characteristics are present when I’m having my best day?
2. Identify Key Values
Search for a list of common values online or brainstorm your own.
Highlight the words that resonate most with you.
Remember, all values are meaningful, but you’re looking for the ones that define you the most.
3. Gain Outside Perspective
Ask your spouse, close friends, or colleagues what values they believe you embody.
Be open to their feedback—it can provide insights you might overlook.
Use their input to refine and validate your list.
4. Narrow It Down
Select your top 5-7 values.
If you’re struggling, rate each one on a scale of 1-10 based on its importance.
If two values rank the same, ask yourself: If I could satisfy only one, which would I choose?
Your Next Step
Now that you’ve identified your core values integrate them into your daily life. Use them to guide decision-making, goal-setting, and even setting boundaries. The more you align your life with your values, the more purpose and satisfaction you’ll experience.
Many of life's decisions are determined by what you value most.
For example, how you use your time, the job you take, and how you raise your family are based on your values. When you identify your values and intentionally make them a part of your life, you will feel confident that your life is not a result of “going with the flow.” It's essential and comforting to rely on your values and use them as a guiding force to point you in the right direction.
Prefer the ease of listening to reading? No problem! Just click play to listen to this episode of The Family Culture Project. Ep. 6 What are Values, and Why are They Important? (Now the Build Your Best Family podcast.)
Feeling Overwhelmed? Don't worry!
I have created a Core Values Kit that will walk you through the process. You can download it for FREE.
