Helping our Teens Discover their Passions

“Where do you want to go to college?”
“What do you want to do when you graduate?”

These are the questions friends and family are starting to ask my daughter.

I often ask her those same questions, plus…

“If you go to college, do you want to stay close to home or go far away?”
“Do you want to go to a small or big school, one in a city or suburbia?”

She doesn’t have the slightest idea; I’m not surprised because she’s only 15!

Even though I want to have this all figured out now, I’ve committed to telling my daughter that no matter what she does in life, or where she attends college, it will all work out. She need not worry, because God has a plan for her future that is “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine.” As she approaches adulthood, I encourage her to pray about her future and ask God to show her the dreams and passions He has placed in her heart.

I am over at Faith Gateway sharing alternative questions we can ask our teens to help them discover the passions they’ll pursue as they become adults. READ MORE…

Incorporating Your Passions into Your Everyday

We are all passionate about something, but few of us can say that those passions are a part of our lives. Long work hours, a new addition to the family, or busyness may cause us to feel like it’s impossible to follow our passions. However, with careful thought and intention, you can incorporate them into your life.

When I first started working with my life coach, I thought I was way too busy to pursue the things that were important to me. I had a long list of reasons why I wasn’t writing more, connecting with my husband regularly, or deepening my friendships. I assumed I had a time issue. But what I had was a priority issue. 

I said over and over that these things mattered to me; however, they weren’t showing up in my schedule. 

When I made a list of my non-negotiables, my values, what I was passionate about, and the things I wanted my family to be known for, I had a clear picture of how I wanted to use my time. These things became appointments in my day, not just for when it was easy, or when I had extra time or money. It took a bit of practice, but eventually, I started to live the life I wanted. 

It's possible to change your life and the life of your family through small, consistent steps over time; steps the take you in the direction of the family we were meant to be. << Click to Tweet

3 Examples

When I first started to take back control of my time, I wanted to connect more with my kids, and reading seemed like the best way to do that. However, when my kids got older, our bedtime routine changed. We no longer read board books together before I tucked them in. Hoping it would happen organically didn't work. The solution was to put it on my schedule. So I:

• Pick one book with each kid.

• Chose one night a week to read with a child.

• Put it on my calendar and stick to it, even if I have to move things around to make it work

Carl and I are passionate about having people in our home. We want to be the place where family members, neighbors, and especially our kids and their friends want to be. A place where they would come and feel nourished - spirit, soul, and body. This type of atmosphere built with intention. We decided to do that we would: 

• Say yes when our kids ask to have friends over.

• Budget money for extra food playdates.

• Purchase outdoor and indoor games that would provide hours of fun, such as a badminton set, Foosball table, Rummikub, and Uno

• Keep a tidy house, always ready for impromptu get-togethers.

My husband and I are also passionate about travel and exposing our kids to experiences that would allow them to learn in creative ways. To make that a reality in our life, we had to:

• Decide what travel looks like for us in this season. Maybe it’s one big vacation and two long weekends a year, with a few day trips sprinkled in between.

• Budget money so that we could take the trips we wanted. Also, be creative with where we stay, how we get there, and what we do so that we can afford it.

• Say no to things that would prevent us from saving money for those trips.

• Plan ahead. Be proactive instead of reactive, not waiting until we are exhausted and need a break to get away.

Just like you can turn your values into practices, you can turn your passions into practice too!

Here’s how:

1. Create a list of the things you are passionate about. If you need some help discovering what those things are, READ THIS or download The Family Culture Discussion sheet.

2. Envision what your life would look like if you were following your passions and living your best life.

3. Brainstorm about what that means practically for your family. What might you have to say no to say yes to what matters to you? What are the small steps you can take to follow your passions? Where can you schedule your non-negotiables? 

Making what matters to you most a part of your life takes practice. Old habits need to be broken, and new ones made. I have found keeping a list of my non-negotiables, my values, my passions, and what I want my family to be known handy so I can check it often when making plans for my week, month, and year. 

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Prefer the ease of listening to reading? No problem! Just click play to hear this episode of The Family Culture Project. 

What Are You Passionate About?

Knowing your core values and passions is crucial to living a life of purpose with your family. << Click to Tweet

As I had mentioned before when my husband and I sat down to write out mission statement the first things we discussed was our values and passions. Both of us identified them individually and then came together to decide which ones we would embrace as a couple and a family.

I admit that it wasn’t easy for me to come up with a list of things I was passionate about. The responsibilities of work and taking care of a family replaced what I loved as a child and even a young adult. I had a few ideas in mind but was hesitant to write them down because I was scared to compare the life I was living the life I wanted.

But change starts with awareness. If I wanted to live with intention, for myself and my family, it was crucial that I explore the desires and passions that were inside me.

Your values and passions are part of what makes you and your family unique. << Click to Tweet

So what are passions?

Passions are what sparks your interest; they are the things that fire up your emotions.

When you are passionate about something you could talk about it for hours, or you lose track of time when participating in it.

Passions can push you through difficulty because it’s what you love.

Unlike values, passions are not always acted upon, but they are something that you are highly motivated to pursue them.

Passions allow you be the best person you can be. That’s because people who know what they are passionate about and actively make those things apart of their lives are fulfilled and connected with their work, family, and life in general.

In the context of family culture, we’ve found that passions do one of 3 things:

• They inform your values. When Carl and I listed out passions I wrote: Manage money well and teach our kids to manage money well, follow God’s plan for stewardship. Carl wrote: Being diligent with finances and spending wisely. Our passions were similar so we felt strongly that our values should reflect this. So we chose generosity as one of our family’s top 5 values.

• They express your values. One of our values is Creativity. We love games. However, we don’t just play them; we create new ones. Many times we design them to celebrate holidays, milestones, and the people we love. We bring creativity to our passion for connecting with other games.

• They inform your cultural practices, the things we do together. Our family is passionate about food. So as a family we invite others to cook with us. We host cooking club and play dates which revolve around food. When we travel we visit Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, and try new foods and restaurants that are specific to the area we are visiting. Those who know us well know that we can talk about food for hours.

Creating a list of passions did more than help us craft our mission statement. It gave us a sense of purpose and pointed us in the direction our family would go.

The work of family culture building includes creating alignment between your values and passions.

There may be seasons of participation for your passions. You may want to live and breathe passions, but obstacles can get in the way. For example, you may be passionate about running, but you have an injury that doesn’t allow you to participate for a particular time. Or maybe it’s long work hours, a new addition to the family or too many responsibilities with too little time prevents you from your passions. For many, it may be not taking the time to discover what they are passionate about, or just not making room in their life in their life.

If you haven’t taken the time to figure out what you are passionate about, here’s how you can:

First, forget the word “passion.” Then, ask yourself the following questions:

• What are you curious about?

• What makes your heart sing?

• What could you talk about for hours?

• What makes you lose track of time?

• What would you do if money was no object?

Still stumped? Here are a few the practical things you can do to find your passion:

• Take assessments

• Get additional training

• Hire a coach

• Read books

• Do research

• Engage in activities you find interesting and valuable.

While you're doing these things, actively look for clues to your life passion.

Once we identified and discussed what we were passionate about, became excited about the things we wanted to share with our kids. We caught a glimpse of what our family could become, which looked far better than survival mode.

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Prefer the ease of listening to reading? No problem! Just click play to hear this episode of The Family Culture Project.